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Saturday, July 07, 2007
`hate myself

it has been so so long already.. i think everything is really not the same as before.. totally different.. but y do i keep looking back?

i tried to forget but the inner part of me just couldn't do it.. every now and then it will just came pop up in my mind.. i really want to know.. whether is there still a hope? whether we can go back time? i need an answer to these questions.. i really need..

i dun wan to post this entry but i really need to let it out.. keeping it to myself really gonna make me bust out anytime..

i hate myself for who i am.. i feel so empty.. i feel so lousy.. i have low self confidence.. low self esteem.. no matter how i tell myself, everyone is different and that i'm just another unique person in this world.. it juz cant change my thinking

its hard, its really hard to forget.. i may look cheerful but i'm actually struggling.. dealing with my feelings.. i cant do it.. i think i dun understand myself anymore.. i always choose to avoid.. and i hate it

i tell myself i need to learn how to be more straightforward.. i tried.. it's not a simple task.. last time i dun even dare to meet the person's eye contact while talking to him or her.. only after sometime, after my fren train me then i can finally overcome it..

but now.. i dunno where to start from.. i'm lost.. i dunno what to do.. who to trust.. speaking of trust, i think i dun even trust myself..

i dunno who to share my feelings.. people confirm will find it ridiculars.. i dun wan... i dunno... haiz..

i hate myself.. i really am.. n i really feel like crying....


Juz LeeN ♥ 1:12 AM